life

Omgeez....today has definitely been challenging...I have to get together my powerpoint presentation and turn it in today, and I'm still having continual guy issues....This guy that I mentioned in the previous blog has still been giving out mixed signs...it's so confusing I don't know what to do...Besides that my life is just really stressful and basically garbage right now...I'm having trouble handling everything that's going on...People are continually talking about me and spreading rumors and calling me a loser, so I'm having a really rough and depressing time....Plus one of my friends is obviously depressed and won't admit it, well atleast to me she won't. She acts like she feels friendless, and I hate that. I wish she'd just come talk to me about it, because I know what she's going through. I feel depressed and friendless alot of the time too. I hope she knows I'm there for her. I can't even imagine or compare to all the bad times she's had, but she's my friend and I love her and I'll always be there to talk when she needs me.......

My life is going rather badly. My mom told me that I'm a crybaby and I'm ruining her life so she doesn't want to hear my problems anymore...yeah...that hurt....I've been in and out of the hospital alot lately too and it sucks because they have no idea whats wrong, but cancer is definitely suspected...I guess I just wish I was loved by someone...I feel so alone...People keep beating and battering me repeatedly and it feels like I'm so broken that I can't be fixed. Every time I get attatched to someone and start to trust them it's like they use that to attack me.......
I hate this...it sounds stupid but sometimes I really wonder what it would be like to die, or if it would be better if I was gone...I feel so abandoned........